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The whole August feels like I am holding my breath, until it stops at the very last day. Four years later I am promissing myself to finally process the grief. I am bad at promises, too tired.

These shoes my mum helped me buy in 2008. I've been wearing them ever since, mostly as my exercise shoes. Since she died I made them my everyday shoes. Just now they fell apart. Such a bad timing.

The dead we find dear and cannot get over missing, it sometimes feels feels like they are trapped only inside of us. We need to see them exist once again in the world. So here you are mum, today, on this page. Hi.

A bonus feature of baby me