Reading diary, 2023
Hello, and welcome to my 2023 reading diary. This year, I wanted to reconnect with reading in a private and intuitive setting while still taking note of what I read. This meant stepping off tracking platforms, and not engaging in overly formal critique like public reviews. I wanted to answer the question: when it is just me and the books, why do I read?
For each book, I noted the title, the author, the language, whether it is a library borrow (L) or own copy (OC), the date of finishing the book, and the immediate few sentences that came to mind right after. The notes were written as they came along and remain unedited.
This isn’t a recommendation list, nor a page full of thoughtful, informative critique. If you read the diary from start to finish, you will live the year with me through the books noted, and probably get to know me a bit better. I refrained from including too much personal information, but dashes of it inevitably linger in some of the excerpts. I don’t include the books I read for Uni or work, and the books I read to my son, no matter the length.
At the beginning of this year, I finally deleted most of my social media accounts, after deactivating them on and off for a few years. I felt the need to reclaim my inner life and gaze, to escape the inkling to perform my life that I was falling pray too very often, to experience doing everything just for me. Getting off platforms like GoodReads was a part of this effort. This is also why I decided to not include any numbers and statistics in this intro.
So, why do I read? My world is pretty small, so I read to immerse myself in different, alternative universes. I read just to confront the sheer beauty of sentences and descriptions that push my inner walls apart. I read to get a taste of the vastness of what constitutes the human experience and to be reminded that so much of it is relatable in the most unexpected ways. I read to learn more about me, from those who have ventured far into any forgotten nook of the self.
As every year, none of this would have been possible without the Berlin library(how and why to join it here). Most of the books I’ve read have been borrowed from there, and most of my own copies come from its Trödelmarkt. I am so, so thankful.
I also want to thank you for being on this page right now. I wish you all a cosy holiday season and a happy and healthy new year <3
The reading diary
“Drawn to Berlin: Comic workshops in refugee shelters and other stories from a new Europe” (EN) (L)
04.03.2023. It’s March already? I just closed this graphic novel. I picked it up during a break at my local library, while a kind neighbour watched over my computer, so I could wander and clear my head. I go there often these days, trying to finish every possible pending project I have from my degree. There are so many papers to read as the research goes on, so much maths to try to wrap the mind around, and so much code to tweak and run. There is little time left for reading outside of the degree. Ali Fitzgerald took me away from all that on a journey through the city I have called my own for a decade now, showing me how the tragedies from yesterday and today collide, but also, how hope. I love graphic novels, I love the interplay of both mediums and the enhanced storytelling. I hope my life soon allows for more reading just for pleasure.
“How to do nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy” - Jenny Odell (EN) (L)
14.03.2023. I’m sick, feverish and in a lot of pain. It’s the time for the end-of-winter-special-kind-of-nasty infections in Berlin. Time feels stretched and my thoughts slow. I can’t do this book justice by reviewing it now. It is one of the most impressive books I’ve ever read. It is almost as if someone compiled my questions and wrote a book of all the (existential) answers I need at the moment. In fact, one time reading it is not enough. I’ll reread it. Starting now.
P.S. 18.12.2023: I did reread half of it, but never the whole book.“Being much niche zur Ecke” - Anneli Furmark (DE) (L)
01.06.2023. Oh, the feels. The central question of the book for me is: “Wie würdet ihr euch entscheiden? Entweder immer ziemlich gut…oder manchmal fantastisch und manchmal fruchtbar traurig? Ziemlich oft…“. It’s one of the central questions about being alive too: is “good enough” - enough? In the book Elise, who’s in her mid-50s and married for 25 years meets Dagmar. Suddenly, life stares back at her in the eyes. What now?
“Kein anderer” - R. Kikuo Johnson (DE) (L)
02.06.2023. I’m sick again, everything hurts, and I’m reading comics in bed. It’s just like it always was, but now the topics aren’t fantasy conquests, but complex family dynamics and grief.
“Der Ursprung der Liebe“ - Liv Strömquist (DE) (L)
02.06.2023. I always wanted to read this one, and the library had them it to take at the Trödelmarkt (for a small donation of course). Score 🎉!
“Herkunft” - Saša Stanišić (DE) (L)
28.06.2023. It is 2 minutes after midnight. Outside in my Berliner Hof fairies might as well be preparing to start signing in an ancient Slavic dialect, and the strong wind covering the dragon-wing flaps. I stumbled over the second part of the book tonight, having to my delight, just like Stanisich, a “chose your own adventure” library book origin story.
To be honest, topic aside, all I can feel right now is pride, I’m so proud I could read through the book without issues. I used my Kindle for easy dictionary help and of course, reread some paragraphs and sentences several times. That was it. Two years ago when I tried the friction was way too great. Thank you for the perseverance, past me.
“Betrachtungen eine Barbarin” - Asal Dardan (DE) (L)
05.07.2023. Also one of those books that has been waiting for me to reach a good enough language level. After going through “Herkunft” it felt like a smooth, comfortable read. I relate fully to the misplaced, never-belonging feeling Asal describes in the book. I also have a complicated history, and I’ve also had many of those same exact thoughts she expresses throughout the book. I wish I could write about this a bit more, but it would quickly become too personal.
“Ministerium der Träume” - Hengameh Yaghoobifarah (DE) (L)
09.07.2023. I gulped the 384 pages in 3 and a half days. So refreshing. I have always been a big Hengameh Yaghoobifarah fan, I’ve been following their work since I moved to Germany a decade ago. It felt like a giant Migrantifa Avengers comic, mixed with pop references from my generation, coming from a queer perspective. There is of course, so so much more in there. I am still just super happy I can read German now like I do any other language I am fluent in, my reach expanded immensely.
“Hausmann” - Wlada Kolosowa (DE) (L)
13.07.2023. Nicht meins - we say in Germany. I suppose I wasn’t the intended audience. How unlikeable was the main character huh, but I suppose that was the whole point? Although the point went past me, I found the cliche-“multi-perspective”-play mostly overused and without proper development to make it transcend to some deeper understanding/empathy.
“Djinns” - Fatma Aydemir (DE) (L)
18.07.2023. I just spent three, maybe even four hours reading without a break. It was so so so so good. The characters are rich, the descriptions alive, and the scenes immersive. I was there, for hours now. Frau Aydemir, thank you for letting me live another life for a moment.
“All the Gold Stars: Reimagining Ambition and the Ways We Strive” - Rainesford Stauffer (EN) (L)
21.07.2023. This is part of the reconstruction of my own relationship with work and how it fits into my life. It is along the same theme as the incredibly influential (for me) “How to Do Nothing”, which I read earlier this year. “All the Gold Stars” breaks down ambition, and its social-political context and recenters the term, giving it a more healthy root.
“Can’t even: How Millennials Became the Burnout Generation” - Ann Helen Petersen (EN) (L)
25.07.2023. It’s no secret that I am a massive Ann Helen Petersen fan. I read her newsletter for years, listened to her podcast and regularly branched off to follow her articles and book recommendations. “Can’t even” is a continuation of her viral Buzzfeed article on millennial burnout, and in her style, presents an extensive socio-political and cultural situation of it. For me, still on the theme of trying to re-examine my relationship to work.
“How to be a good creature: A Memoir in Thirteen Animals” - Sy Montgomery (EN) (L)
28.07.2023. Oh my, this must definitely be the surprise of the year. I picked this book up while looking for another one on the secret life of birds, just because I liked the premise of it. I wasn’t ready for all the heavy details of Sy Montgomery’s life, her memories, reflections and search for meaning. I found genuine awe and love for nature, I cherished her straightforward writing, and I caught a glimpse of a truly remarkable life.
“Im Spiegelsaal” - Liv Strömquist (DE) (L)
29.07.2023. I didn’t know anything about the book, I just picked it up on my way out of the library because I saw it was Ströquist’s new book(as one would!). I love that she takes topics that I wouldn’t normally go out of my way to dissect, like love and marriage and now in this one beauty, in such detail and breath. This time the self-image and the societal gaze stood as central themes. The last chapter where she puts the current social media usage in context I find completely relevant, as these feelings she describes of self-division, the pressure of your own image that has a life of its own and the impossibility of being authentic was the biggest push for me to quit using social media 7 months ago. I still use LinkedIn, but there the PR strategy is explicit.
“The hawk’s way” - Sy Montgomery (EN) (L)
30.07.2023. I’m so tired, but the rule of writing down my thoughts as soon as possible is a rule I’ve been following for every book until now. I had a lot of chores to finish tonight, and I searched the online offering of the library for a shorter audiobook. I had Sy Montgomery talk to me in a calm, enticing way about hawks and falconry for two hours while I tidied, folded, organised, washed and polished. I loved hearing from this remarkable woman about the ancient wildness of the birds of prey.
“The wind in the willows” - Kenneth Grahame (EN) (OC)
05.08.2023. I need a break, so I pulled this copy, with a beautifully illustrated, gold-sparkling cover, I bought for myself a while ago. What a pleasure to read a paper book for a change, and a new, paper-fragrant, unread one. Going on holiday tomorrow, the lighter books are here to stay for a while.
“Daughter of the Moon Goddess” - Sue Lynn Tan (EN) (OC)
10.08.2023. Magic! I’m not a regular fantasy girl, but this book was one of last year’s favourites of a lot of book folks I follow on YouTube and I decided to take the chance. I started reading it just before sleeping the night before leaving for Italy and took it everywhere for the first three days. The Mediterranean Sea soaked it through once and then the beach sun dried it up. It got scratched and stained. Immersive masterful storytelling, and a big bonus for the Chinese mythology woven in it 🤩
“Ich war auf der Fusion, und alles, was ich bekam, war ein blutiges Herz” - Hengameh Yaghoobifarah (DE) (OC)
10.08.2023. I was wondering if I should include this tiny read, that my favourite bookstore’s Ocelot employee called “ein Pixibuch für Erwachsene”(I was buying my son a Pixibuch at the same time too 😁). I don’t include the sometimes 100+ pages of chapter books I read to my son, but this is something I picked and bought for myself to read, however small. So, it appears here too.
“White Teeth” - Zadie Smith (EN) (L)
19.08.2023. The book has a few empty extra sheets at the end. Are these for notes? If so, one would need way more than those. THE TALENT! I feel honoured to have been faced with Zadie Smith’s work. Masterful sentences, and dense, meaningful prose. A command of narrative and language I have seen only a few times in my life. I’ve felt only this excited after reading Fatma Aydemir this year. It’s the last day of the sunny holiday, thankful for the time to soak this in.
“Do Nothing: How to Break Away from Overworking, Overdoing, and Underliving” - Celeste Headlee (EN) (L)
08.09.2023. One more of the books that I am reading in the pursuit to question and reshape my relationship with work. There have been a few already this year, and I have at least that many left. I will write a separate post about what I’ve learned. I found this one very well-researched, with great suggestions and points. However, I found the writing style a bit cumbersome to read at times. I wish the book had a flow that was better-paced and executed. A great book, nevertheless.
“A world without email” - Cal Newport (EN) (L)
10.09.2023. I’m a fan, so when Cal Newport has a new book, I read it. I have embarked this year on the journey to re-examine my relationship to work, but also to how I spend my attention and specifically my digital usage. Cal Newport’s work fits into this category. I also follow his new thoughts on what he calls “slow productivity”, which then relates to my first pursuit. It is all connected :) I do like a lot of what Newport suggests, and I already follow his digital minimalism practices. This book has given me a few more ideas of how to better manage my very fragmented (work)days.
“Yallah Deutschland, wir mussen reden” - Souad Lamroubal (DE) (L)
10.09.2023. This is the first book from my saved recommendations from this year's African Book Festival in Berlin. I’m really lucky the library has some of the books! Frau Lamroubal speaks about her experience as Beamtin in the Ausländerbehörde and other state institutions, the life of immigrants and her experience as a second-generation German.
“Ellbogen” - Fatma Aydemir (DE) (L)
13.09.2023. I couldn’t put it down, just like “Djinns”. I absolutely love Aydemir’s writing style. The dialogues are effortless, and the inner monologue is authentic. Can’t wait to read more.
“Last leaf first snowflake to fall” - Leo Yerxa (EN) (L)
19.09.2023. Again, I read hundreds of new books to and with my son every year, and they don’t make my reading list since they aren’t “for me”. During this library visit, we picked up a fresh bunch, and while he quietly sat and looked through one I got to scan the racks longer, and found something for myself. This was a beautifully illustrated poem, that won multiple awards. It radiates nature appreciation and the joy of welcoming the changing seasons. It is never the length or the complexity of a book that resonates with me, or that I consider “real” reading, this is why I love graphic novels/comics and picture books so much. Some things escape text, and I wish we told more of those stories.
“Two Old Broads: Stuff You Need to Know That You Didn’t Know You Needed to Know” - Dr. M.E. Hecht and Whoopi Goldberg (EN) (L)
20.09.2023. First, it is worth mentioning that this is one of my “chores books”. The process of picking a “chore book” is as follows: it starts with a day ahead of me, usually a Saturday of at least 3-4 hours of cleaning and other housework. The podcasts are not giving. I load up the library app and apply the filters: audiobook, available now, sort by popularity. There are no criteria for length, but my constraint is that it must be less than 6 hours long. Scroll, scroll, scroll until something comes up I’ve wanted to read for a while. Done!
On another note, as I am exiting my early 30s and entering mid-life slowly, I am curious about what lays ahead. My mum died when she was just 50 years old, and I already left home 10 years before that, most of them living in another country. I haven’t seen a woman age, not even the progression of middle age, and I am not in touch with any extended family that could illuminate this process for me. I thought why not get a sneak peek from a book like this one? And so I did.
“Farbe bekennen. Afro-deutsche Frauen auf den Spuren ihrer Geschichte” - Katharina Oguntoye, May Ayim and Dagmar Schultz (DE) (L)
26.09.2023. This book has been on my list for years. An absolute treasure. I hope to give it to my son, born and raised here in Germany, to read when he is old enough. I feel moved, humbled and if I’m completely honest, scared.
“Wie viel: Was wir mit Geld machen und was Geld mit uns macht” - Mareice Kaiser (DE) (L)
29.09.2023. Preaching to the choir when it comes to the book’s message 😉😁
“Laziness does not exist” - Devon Price (EN) (L)
22.10.2023. Life is kind of tough right now. It feels like I’ve been reading this book forever, and it has indeed been a month. My memory of the month is patchy, but luckily I took a lot of notes when actively reading. This was another in my series of examining my relationship to work and ambition.
“Elsewhere, home” - Leila Aboulela (EN) (OC)
25.10.2023. The African Book Festival this year for me this year opened with Aboulela’s session. She had a calm, captivating demeanour. When she started reading from her newest book, “The River Spirit”, I was immediately drawn in. The prose was urgent, the emerging story tangibly present, taking space among us. Unfortunately, they only had a hardcover from it(out of my budget, but I recommended it to the library to buy🙏🏻), so I picked up a paperback collection of short stories. She signed it for me, and it’s my small treasure now. I’m in a particularly vulnerable situation these days, and these stories about the inner lives of immigrants, about “love, loneliness and spirituality”, resonate with me on many levels.
“Touched out: Motherhood, Misogyny, Consent and Control” - Amanda Montei (EN) (L)
18.11.2023. A radical examination of how the culture we grow up in and its deeply ingrained relationship to consent, control and misogyny impact our experience of motherhood. I find the book intimate, daring and opening a necessary conversation. I found out about it in this interview and recommended it to the library and I obviously wasn’t the only one, since they got a copy for all of us to read <3.
“The school for bad mothers” - Jessamine Chan (EN) (L)
23.11.2023. The succession from the previous to this book has been perfect. Just perfect. It’s 2am right now, I couldn’t stop reading for hours.
“Bleib bei mir” - Ayobami Adebayo (DE) (OC)
28.11.2023. I was so happy I found a hardcover paper book at the library Trödelmarkt, I wanted to read it for a while 🎉 I loved learning more about Yoruba traditions, mythology and of course language. The second part of the book was my favourite. I’ll never forget what Rotimi means in Yoruba now.
“Млечни заби” - Hana Korneti (MK) (OC)
30.11.2023. I spent the last few hours reading, after what I believe were 18 hours of COVID-induced sleeping. I’ve spent the last 29 hours in this bed, but only now regained the ability to read. I loved these short stories, the first of the bunch of books from contemporary Macedonian authors waiting for me to go through this month. My favourite were “Млечни заби”, after which the book is titled, “Ловец на соништа” and “Како да се разбуди човек”. I found the writing refreshing, especially when compared to what usually gets published in 🇲🇰. I’m genuinely looking forward to the next book by this author.
“Естом” - Nikolina Andova Šopova (MK) (OC)
04.12.2023. This is the first and only book I didn’t manage to write my thoughts about as planned, right after reading, or at least as soon as possible. It was my second COVID read, but then life went full force bringing on trouble. It is now, unfortunately, 10 days later, and my head is a blur. I remember I loved the stage that mental illness was given, as it’s not something I’ve seen often in books in Macedonian. My favourite and most memorable character was Silva.
“The Travelling Cat Chronicles” - Hiro Arikawa (EN) (L)
15.12.2023. I am crying, of course. There is no other suitable reaction to the end of this book. I must have reread the last 10 sentences 20 times. They are so simple, but picture that type of longing perfectly. I can’t tell you more now, you should read it :) I had the last two chapters left over for two days, because I was gradually becoming sick until I couldn’t read, again. 2024, please be more kind. This book was a recommendation by the creator of one of my favourite YouTube channels. She reads and loves books that are usually never on my radar, so I love to pick her suggestions up like wildcards sometimes.
“Manifesto: On never giving up” - Bernardine Evaristo (EN) (L)
19.12.2023. What a treat! I feel honoured, thankful and genuinely inspired. How wonderful was to get an insight into the life, reflections and writing process of this remarkable woman, and a writer I greatly admire. It reminded me that once I believed in myself in an unquivering way, a trait I have lost on the way. What a beautiful way to reconnect with it, but this story of courage, persistence and unshakable curiosity.“The Snow Child” - Eowyn Ivey (EN) (OC)
There are 11 days left until the end of the year. I felt called to join Mabel and Jack, homesteading in snow-covered Alaska at the beginning of the 20th century, again. With so many days left until the end of the year, another book will likely sneak in, but I wanted to finish the year, or at least my record of it, with this one. I will be making with them a little girl out of snow and living between the certainty of what is real and what is a heartbreaking mirage of magic until we set foot in 2024. Happy holidays <3
